Aside from Father’s Day and our children’s birthdays, what better way to celebrate a day than Mother’s Day? This year, Mother’s Day falls on Benjamin’s 7th birthday. I am thrilled to share this day with him. Seven years ago, my baby boy was born two days before Mother’s Day. Will and Elizabeth were 4 and 2 respectively.
Benjamin was as unpredictable in utero as he is out. From conception Benjamin was the cause of quite a few stressful situations. For starters, as with all of my children, I had a CVS (chorionic villus sampling). A CVS is a genetic test that is done between ten and twelve weeks of pregnancy, usually for high risk pregnancies to determine if the fetus is genetically healthy. Because of the loss of our first child, and because of the high risk of our subsequent children having the same genetic disease, we chose to have a CVS. Unfortunately with Benjamin, the lab made a mistake, so I had an amniocentitesis as well. After many grueling months (25 weeks gestation) we finally received the great news that our baby boy was healthy. After a few wonderful weeks of elation we soon found out that not only did I have placenta previa, but Benjamin was transverse.
At 30 weeks pregnant Raj, and I went to a private showing of Anything Goes with Patty Lupone. It was a wonderful evening - a small venue and the cast was extraordinary. Patty belted out an encore and Benjamin went crazy. He was kicking and flipping in ways that I had never felt before. By the end of the evening, I ended up in the hospital. The next six weeks were spent in and out of the hospital, and when I wasn’t in the hospital I was on bed rest. With much relief, Benjamin was delivered by a scheduled cesarean section at 36 weeks.
At conception Raj and I knew that this baby would either be our last pregnancy, or more optimistically, our last child. Thankfully it was the latter, and Benjamin was born two days after Mother’s Day. I was so relieved, so happy, and so proud to be spending Mother’s Day in the hospital with my new beautiful son. He was so little and so cute. I was lucky – I had the "perfect nuclear unit."
Raj brought the kids to the hospital to see their new baby brother again, and to celebrate Mother’s Day. The children came with cards and flowers. Will and Elizabeth eagerly climbed onto the hospital bed with me and Benjamin – such a sweet moment in a mother’s life. Unfortunately, the “moment” was over before you could say “Happy Mother’s Day.” Will immediately discovered the remote control buttons to the hospital bed. Up and down went my back, and in and out went my legs at high speed – not exactly part of my perfect Mother’s Day fantasy. If you have ever had a c-section, you know what I am talking about – ouch!
While Will was moving my body in various positions, my sweet little Elizabeth also discovered a button. At first it was very sweet – “They are sooo cute,” the nurses said. But by the fifth or sixth call to the nurses station, there was nothing cute about it. I think that it would be fair to say that Will and Elizabeth were “pushing my buttons” that day. They were making me pay for not being at home, and for not giving them all of the attention that they were accustomed to. Needless to say, Mother’s Day with my “perfect nuclear unit” was a far cry from perfect. In fact it was a disaster ending, in a total meltdown, with three of us crying (one being me) and Raj carrying Will and Elizabeth in either arm out of the hospital like a sack of potatoes.
I look forward to Mother’s Day - my day, each year. Thankfully we have passed (and survived) the “meltdown phase” only to move on to other stages and phases. I am dreaming of my morning cup of coffee in bed with my three precious children, my three dogs, and Raj, all happily piled in together... my "perfect nuclear unit."
Happy Mother’s Day!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes...
I'm suffering from a serious case of spring fever, which has manifested into writers block. It's frustrating - I have a lot to say (I usually do!), but I have been paralyzed when it comes to writing it down. My mind is completely discombobulated by all of the of scheduling and planning I have to do. With a change of season comes a change of schedules, and in my case that means 3 new schedules must be committed to memory, and "Houdiniesque" magic tricks must be performed in order for me to be in 3 places all at once - never a dull moment.
While evaluating the children's new schedules, my mind naturally drifted and I became philosophical in my thinking. I started to think about how we are forever changing. There is a beginning and an end to everything we do. We may think that we follow the same routine everyday, but eventually that routine morphs into a new routine without us ever noticing.
Change is good - it represents a new beginning or a new chapter in our lives. Change happens for all kinds of reasons. Some changes are out of our control, such as illness and death, while others are planned; going to college, getting married, etc. As I think back through the years, my life reads like a chapter book – I suspect most of our lives do. Some chapters are better then others.
I've been lucky, I have many fond memories of the past, and no regrets, but when times were tough, they were really tough. When our daughter passed away, my life forever changed. Her short life taught me many great lessons - things that I wish I had learned under different circumstances. She has given me, and Raj, a precious gift; the gift of understanding what truly matters in life, and how to separate the small things from the big things, and the good from the bad. I am at peace knowing that she will forever be in our hearts, and in the hearts of her brothers and sister as we pass her gift of life onto them. She has changed us for the better.
Life is a process of change, a metamorphosis. We change physically and emotionally as we go though each stage of our lives. It's interesting because we basically all follow the same pattern, the same set of milestones. Through all of these changes, most of our character remains the same, and we still hold onto the same value system we grew up with. I think what changes for most of us, and I speak solely from my own experiences, is our philosophy on life, and our acceptance and tolerance for things.
My sister Betsy is two months away from starting a new chapter in her life - she and her husband are expecting their first child. Expecting a baby is such a beautiful time in life - full of dreams of the unknown. As Betsy’s big sister, I am tickled when I think of how drastic her life is about to change…for the better (I promise Betz!). A baby brings a lot of joy and wonderful changes to one's life. But, unlike a hairstyle, a baby is forever. There's no turning back, no changes here except for diapers...lots of them!
I'm due for a change (ha ha). I'm ready to begin a new chapter in my life. I will be busy pursuing some of my own dreams…we'll see where they lead me.
Czzy
While evaluating the children's new schedules, my mind naturally drifted and I became philosophical in my thinking. I started to think about how we are forever changing. There is a beginning and an end to everything we do. We may think that we follow the same routine everyday, but eventually that routine morphs into a new routine without us ever noticing.
Change is good - it represents a new beginning or a new chapter in our lives. Change happens for all kinds of reasons. Some changes are out of our control, such as illness and death, while others are planned; going to college, getting married, etc. As I think back through the years, my life reads like a chapter book – I suspect most of our lives do. Some chapters are better then others.
I've been lucky, I have many fond memories of the past, and no regrets, but when times were tough, they were really tough. When our daughter passed away, my life forever changed. Her short life taught me many great lessons - things that I wish I had learned under different circumstances. She has given me, and Raj, a precious gift; the gift of understanding what truly matters in life, and how to separate the small things from the big things, and the good from the bad. I am at peace knowing that she will forever be in our hearts, and in the hearts of her brothers and sister as we pass her gift of life onto them. She has changed us for the better.
Life is a process of change, a metamorphosis. We change physically and emotionally as we go though each stage of our lives. It's interesting because we basically all follow the same pattern, the same set of milestones. Through all of these changes, most of our character remains the same, and we still hold onto the same value system we grew up with. I think what changes for most of us, and I speak solely from my own experiences, is our philosophy on life, and our acceptance and tolerance for things.
My sister Betsy is two months away from starting a new chapter in her life - she and her husband are expecting their first child. Expecting a baby is such a beautiful time in life - full of dreams of the unknown. As Betsy’s big sister, I am tickled when I think of how drastic her life is about to change…for the better (I promise Betz!). A baby brings a lot of joy and wonderful changes to one's life. But, unlike a hairstyle, a baby is forever. There's no turning back, no changes here except for diapers...lots of them!
I'm due for a change (ha ha). I'm ready to begin a new chapter in my life. I will be busy pursuing some of my own dreams…we'll see where they lead me.
Czzy
Friday, March 20, 2009
REALity
Finding material to write about for a weekly blog is challenging. As a writer, one of the principle rules I follow is simple - write what you know. When I write, I often draw from my own life experiences, or I get an idea from something interesting that a person around me has said or done. I also use current events for ideas, as I did for the postings of "Beware of the Fat Bug," "Barbie's World," and "Public School Envy."
A reader of 3 Kids and a Dog…Plus 2 referred to last week's blog as "reality TV." I am thrilled that I have sparked an emotion in this reader. I do not watch much reality TV but I have seen enough to know that this was not a compliment.
I scrolled through my past blogs to see what she meant by her comment (which by the way she accidentally forwarded to me…Oops! A future blog will deal with email etiquette). She is right, there is "reality" in what I write, and that is exactly what I hope to bring to my readers - real life issues that many of us can relate to. Whether I am writing about something campy, like Barbie's 50th birthday, or a more serious topic such as choosing the right school for our children, I often lend my experiences to the story. Making a connection, so to speak, brings life to a story – it adds honesty and emotion to a topic that otherwise may be just factual.
The "reality TV" comment got me to thinking. If I were to have a reality TV series I would call it "The PA" (parents association). It would be brilliant! There would be several leading roles: the controlling former business executive, who runs her home, children, and the PA like a business; the mother with too much help, and oh too little time; and then there could be the competitive mother who wants to "one-up" everyone on everything. This is an excellent example of writing about what you know – been there, seen that! My role would be producer. Writing about binging on Doritos with my son is one thing, having it caught on camera is another - I'll leave that up to the Kardashians.
Back to reality ladies -spring has arrived and it is time to put away our light boxes, shave our legs, and get happy. I look forward to this time of year. After a long cold and snowy winter spring-cleaning begins: we open our screen porch, sweep terraces clean, covers come off the outdoor furniture, and the grill gets going. The children will celebrate spring with their cousins, and a few friends, roasting marshmallows and eating s'mores in our roaring outdoor fireplace. It is a fun time of year.
Spring for me also means preparing for our vegetable garden - I will be tilling soil (that's a sight!), and seeding - there is much to do, so I will post every two weeks now. If you would like to make a comment, or suggestion regarding my blog, it does not have to be by accident. You can comment anonymously by going to Post a Comment, then Select a Profile. I look forward to hearing from you.
Czzy
A reader of 3 Kids and a Dog…Plus 2 referred to last week's blog as "reality TV." I am thrilled that I have sparked an emotion in this reader. I do not watch much reality TV but I have seen enough to know that this was not a compliment.
I scrolled through my past blogs to see what she meant by her comment (which by the way she accidentally forwarded to me…Oops! A future blog will deal with email etiquette). She is right, there is "reality" in what I write, and that is exactly what I hope to bring to my readers - real life issues that many of us can relate to. Whether I am writing about something campy, like Barbie's 50th birthday, or a more serious topic such as choosing the right school for our children, I often lend my experiences to the story. Making a connection, so to speak, brings life to a story – it adds honesty and emotion to a topic that otherwise may be just factual.
The "reality TV" comment got me to thinking. If I were to have a reality TV series I would call it "The PA" (parents association). It would be brilliant! There would be several leading roles: the controlling former business executive, who runs her home, children, and the PA like a business; the mother with too much help, and oh too little time; and then there could be the competitive mother who wants to "one-up" everyone on everything. This is an excellent example of writing about what you know – been there, seen that! My role would be producer. Writing about binging on Doritos with my son is one thing, having it caught on camera is another - I'll leave that up to the Kardashians.
Back to reality ladies -spring has arrived and it is time to put away our light boxes, shave our legs, and get happy. I look forward to this time of year. After a long cold and snowy winter spring-cleaning begins: we open our screen porch, sweep terraces clean, covers come off the outdoor furniture, and the grill gets going. The children will celebrate spring with their cousins, and a few friends, roasting marshmallows and eating s'mores in our roaring outdoor fireplace. It is a fun time of year.
Spring for me also means preparing for our vegetable garden - I will be tilling soil (that's a sight!), and seeding - there is much to do, so I will post every two weeks now. If you would like to make a comment, or suggestion regarding my blog, it does not have to be by accident. You can comment anonymously by going to Post a Comment, then Select a Profile. I look forward to hearing from you.
Czzy
Friday, March 13, 2009
Barbie's World
This week marked several 50th anniversaries. It was the anniversary of President Obama's 50th day in office, Lilly Pulitzer marked 50 years of happy-hue clothing designs, the Dalai Lama entered exile 50 years ago, and Barbie turned 50!
President Obama's 50th day in office sparked questions concerning gray hair and whether or not gray hair is determined by our genes or caused by stress. Martha Stewart celebrated Lilly Pulitzer's 50th jubilee by having her entire studio audience dress in Lilly attire. Sadly, not much attention was given to the Dalai Lama. Barbie, however, is having a splendid 50th birthday celebration - Mattel has built a 3,500 square-foot Malibu mansion for Barbie and her celebrity friends to party. When the party is over, the mansion will become a Barbie Museum.
Embarrassingly, Barbie's birthday interests me the most out of the week's jubilees. Babs is 50 and fabulous – how could she not be? For her 50th, Mattel has given her a makeover. Based on "Dr. Czzy's" observations (who does not treat Barbie), she has indeed had some "plastic" work done. Her lips appear plumper; she has a thinner jaw line, larger eyes, and not a gray hair in sight!
The concept of Barbie is amusing. As a child, my mother would not allow me to have a Barbie Doll, which probably explains my interest in the toy's anniversary. My mother, who was a product of the women's rights movement, believed that the Barbie doll exploits women as sex objects. She's right, Barbie did and still does, but at least now she has a brain.
Here are a few facts about our brainy friend: She debuted on March 9, 1959, and her full name is Barbie Millicent Roberts. She is from the fictitious town of Willows, Wisconsin, and she has had an impressive 108 careers in her 50 years - that's 2.16 careers per year. If she were life size, she would be 5'9", her measurements would be 39-18-33, and her shoe size would be a size 3. According to studies done on Barbie's measurements, if she were human, she would have to crawl around on all fours, as she would not be able to balance her buxom chest with her tiny feet! The studies also indicate that a "real" woman of these proportions would not have enough body fat to menstruate. Perhaps that is why Barbie never had an heir!
Barbie comes with every imaginable accoutrement a girl could want. She has a dream house, a beach house, and a convertible, among other material objects. She has an enviable wardrobe with matching shoes and a handbag for each outfit. She even dons an outfit for each of her 108 careers. Have you ever seen an astronaut look so chic in a space suit?
My mother was progressive for her time. She was a young mother of five, and tough as nails. She never gave in to the things that really counted – like her beliefs. I was desperate for a Barbie doll - all the girls had them, but my mother never gave in. Do not feel sorry for me, I have had my fair share of Barbie time. I was a resourceful young lady, and spent many afternoons playing with our neighbor and her collection of Barbie dolls while her mother and mothers boyfriend practiced yoga, naked, in the room next door - How's that for progressive?
My mother was far from naive and was well aware of my surreptitious Barbie play. To her credit, she looked the other way - I think she appreciated my gumption. It was not until many years later that my mother found out about the naked yoga - she took it well.
Ironically, it was my mother who bought Elizabeth her first Barbie doll. I was shocked. When I questioned this contradiction, she said, "It's just a princess." Albeit, a princess with large, perky breasts, and not a bit of cellulite! Don't all princesses look like that?
To this day, I cannot look at a Barbie doll without seeing all the silly sexist elements to the doll - it is actually quite humorous. However, and clearly I am not a psychologist (just a "plastic" surgeon!), I believe that just as playing with a toy gun does not make a boy a killer, that playing with a Barbie doll will not psychologically damage a young girls self esteem and/or body image (Hollywood has that one covered!).
My mother passed away several years ago - it would have been fun to talk to her about Barbie's 50th anniversary. I am sure that she would have had some insightful thoughts and comments, and possibly a real explanation for why it was okay for Elizabeth to have a Barbie doll, and not me. My guess is, that with time, she learned that it isn't the doll that makes the girl, but rather good mothering and she was the best!
If I could design a 50th anniversary Barbie, I would name her "Menopause Barbie." She would have a flirty salt and pepper bob, and wear a Dalai Lamaesque toga, with Lilly Pulitzer prints. I would of course preserve her fabulous plastic fantasy figure, and she would come complete with a boy toy. "Life in plastic is fantastic….."
Happy Birthday Barbie!
President Obama's 50th day in office sparked questions concerning gray hair and whether or not gray hair is determined by our genes or caused by stress. Martha Stewart celebrated Lilly Pulitzer's 50th jubilee by having her entire studio audience dress in Lilly attire. Sadly, not much attention was given to the Dalai Lama. Barbie, however, is having a splendid 50th birthday celebration - Mattel has built a 3,500 square-foot Malibu mansion for Barbie and her celebrity friends to party. When the party is over, the mansion will become a Barbie Museum.
Embarrassingly, Barbie's birthday interests me the most out of the week's jubilees. Babs is 50 and fabulous – how could she not be? For her 50th, Mattel has given her a makeover. Based on "Dr. Czzy's" observations (who does not treat Barbie), she has indeed had some "plastic" work done. Her lips appear plumper; she has a thinner jaw line, larger eyes, and not a gray hair in sight!
The concept of Barbie is amusing. As a child, my mother would not allow me to have a Barbie Doll, which probably explains my interest in the toy's anniversary. My mother, who was a product of the women's rights movement, believed that the Barbie doll exploits women as sex objects. She's right, Barbie did and still does, but at least now she has a brain.
Here are a few facts about our brainy friend: She debuted on March 9, 1959, and her full name is Barbie Millicent Roberts. She is from the fictitious town of Willows, Wisconsin, and she has had an impressive 108 careers in her 50 years - that's 2.16 careers per year. If she were life size, she would be 5'9", her measurements would be 39-18-33, and her shoe size would be a size 3. According to studies done on Barbie's measurements, if she were human, she would have to crawl around on all fours, as she would not be able to balance her buxom chest with her tiny feet! The studies also indicate that a "real" woman of these proportions would not have enough body fat to menstruate. Perhaps that is why Barbie never had an heir!
Barbie comes with every imaginable accoutrement a girl could want. She has a dream house, a beach house, and a convertible, among other material objects. She has an enviable wardrobe with matching shoes and a handbag for each outfit. She even dons an outfit for each of her 108 careers. Have you ever seen an astronaut look so chic in a space suit?
My mother was progressive for her time. She was a young mother of five, and tough as nails. She never gave in to the things that really counted – like her beliefs. I was desperate for a Barbie doll - all the girls had them, but my mother never gave in. Do not feel sorry for me, I have had my fair share of Barbie time. I was a resourceful young lady, and spent many afternoons playing with our neighbor and her collection of Barbie dolls while her mother and mothers boyfriend practiced yoga, naked, in the room next door - How's that for progressive?
My mother was far from naive and was well aware of my surreptitious Barbie play. To her credit, she looked the other way - I think she appreciated my gumption. It was not until many years later that my mother found out about the naked yoga - she took it well.
Ironically, it was my mother who bought Elizabeth her first Barbie doll. I was shocked. When I questioned this contradiction, she said, "It's just a princess." Albeit, a princess with large, perky breasts, and not a bit of cellulite! Don't all princesses look like that?
To this day, I cannot look at a Barbie doll without seeing all the silly sexist elements to the doll - it is actually quite humorous. However, and clearly I am not a psychologist (just a "plastic" surgeon!), I believe that just as playing with a toy gun does not make a boy a killer, that playing with a Barbie doll will not psychologically damage a young girls self esteem and/or body image (Hollywood has that one covered!).
My mother passed away several years ago - it would have been fun to talk to her about Barbie's 50th anniversary. I am sure that she would have had some insightful thoughts and comments, and possibly a real explanation for why it was okay for Elizabeth to have a Barbie doll, and not me. My guess is, that with time, she learned that it isn't the doll that makes the girl, but rather good mothering and she was the best!
If I could design a 50th anniversary Barbie, I would name her "Menopause Barbie." She would have a flirty salt and pepper bob, and wear a Dalai Lamaesque toga, with Lilly Pulitzer prints. I would of course preserve her fabulous plastic fantasy figure, and she would come complete with a boy toy. "Life in plastic is fantastic….."
Happy Birthday Barbie!
Friday, March 6, 2009
Public School Envy
Will and I just binged on a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos…I have been picking Doritos crumbs out of my keyboard ever since – it serves me right. At first, I could not figure out what had happened to my computer. Every time I typed the letter "I," it would not work so, I took the "I" key off and there it was – a Dorito crumb. I blew it away only for the same thing to happen with the "H" key, and so forth. After a while, I succeeded in getting rid of the crumbs by blowing all of them onto the car floor all the while feeling confident that one of our three dogs would eat them. I have learned a valuable lesson: the next time that Will and I have time to spare we will not stop at a convenience store and binge on junk food in a parking lot. Ick, it must be the state of the economy that made me do it (they were delicious though)!
Unfortunately, the economy is in the forefront of all of our minds - whether we like it or not. It is unavoidable and quite depressing (hence the comfort food). Some of us have lost our jobs, and those of us who have been lucky enough to keep them are not sure how long this will last. In a society where we are used to being in control, the uncertainty of the economy is starting to take a toll. It has touched all of our lives in one way or another.
There is a definite change in the energy around me -the buzz is gone. Shopping, which has become a "sport" for many Americans, is now done out of necessity – milk, bread, new school shoes, etc. Indulging no longer feels as good as it used to - the guilty pleasure that we once enjoyed has turned into plain ol' guilt. We second-guess our purchases – "Do I really need those shoes?", or we wait for them to go on sale. The "haves" are quickly becoming the "have no ts" and "staycations" are becoming the norm. Our happy-go-lucky days are temporarily on hold...I hope.
Private education has become an area of uncertainty for many families. They are having to ask themselves the unthinkable - "Are we getting our monies worth?", and even worse (in their minds), "Should we consider the public school?" Many of you following this blog are fortunate, like me, to live in areas of the country that have excellent public school systems to use as a "fall back." These public schools are hardly "fall backs." In fact, many of these public schools are some of the finest schools in the country. Things could be worse.
When our children attended private school many parents in our town often asked me why I sent my children to a private school when the public school system in our area is so good. I never really had a good answer. Usually, I would chalk it up to smaller class sizes. The longer our children attended the private school the more Raj and I would ask ourselves the "burning question" - "Are we getting our monies worth?" In the end, our answer was NO.
It took us a couple of years, and a lot of wasted money, before we made the switch. My husband was on the Board of Trustees at the private school so he was privy to alot. He saw the school from two very different perspectives: as a parent and as a trustee. It was Raj, who for the last couple of years wanted our children to leave the school. However, I could not let go. I clung onto the ideals of a private school education, and selfishly, I felt insecure about the social implications if we were to leave private school for public school. Silly, right…or not?
At the end of the day, we all must sit back and honestly ask ourselves "What is best for our family?" and not worry about what the "Jones'" think. Switching schools was the right choice for our family. If your family chooses the "fall back" option, for whatever your reasons, I can assure you that your children will not suffer. In fact, the chance of your children going to the college of their choice is as good if not better after attending the public vs. private school.
A friend said something that helped put it all into perspective for me. She said, "I use to have private school envy." She went on to explain that at first she thought her children might be missing out, but that was before she saw how great the public school system is. Her children are happy and thriving at the public school. What more could a parent ask for?
Raj and I are both products of public school, and we didn't turn out so bad…perhaps we should all have "public school envy!"
Unfortunately, the economy is in the forefront of all of our minds - whether we like it or not. It is unavoidable and quite depressing (hence the comfort food). Some of us have lost our jobs, and those of us who have been lucky enough to keep them are not sure how long this will last. In a society where we are used to being in control, the uncertainty of the economy is starting to take a toll. It has touched all of our lives in one way or another.
There is a definite change in the energy around me -the buzz is gone. Shopping, which has become a "sport" for many Americans, is now done out of necessity – milk, bread, new school shoes, etc. Indulging no longer feels as good as it used to - the guilty pleasure that we once enjoyed has turned into plain ol' guilt. We second-guess our purchases – "Do I really need those shoes?", or we wait for them to go on sale. The "haves" are quickly becoming the "have no ts" and "staycations" are becoming the norm. Our happy-go-lucky days are temporarily on hold...I hope.
Private education has become an area of uncertainty for many families. They are having to ask themselves the unthinkable - "Are we getting our monies worth?", and even worse (in their minds), "Should we consider the public school?" Many of you following this blog are fortunate, like me, to live in areas of the country that have excellent public school systems to use as a "fall back." These public schools are hardly "fall backs." In fact, many of these public schools are some of the finest schools in the country. Things could be worse.
When our children attended private school many parents in our town often asked me why I sent my children to a private school when the public school system in our area is so good. I never really had a good answer. Usually, I would chalk it up to smaller class sizes. The longer our children attended the private school the more Raj and I would ask ourselves the "burning question" - "Are we getting our monies worth?" In the end, our answer was NO.
It took us a couple of years, and a lot of wasted money, before we made the switch. My husband was on the Board of Trustees at the private school so he was privy to alot. He saw the school from two very different perspectives: as a parent and as a trustee. It was Raj, who for the last couple of years wanted our children to leave the school. However, I could not let go. I clung onto the ideals of a private school education, and selfishly, I felt insecure about the social implications if we were to leave private school for public school. Silly, right…or not?
At the end of the day, we all must sit back and honestly ask ourselves "What is best for our family?" and not worry about what the "Jones'" think. Switching schools was the right choice for our family. If your family chooses the "fall back" option, for whatever your reasons, I can assure you that your children will not suffer. In fact, the chance of your children going to the college of their choice is as good if not better after attending the public vs. private school.
A friend said something that helped put it all into perspective for me. She said, "I use to have private school envy." She went on to explain that at first she thought her children might be missing out, but that was before she saw how great the public school system is. Her children are happy and thriving at the public school. What more could a parent ask for?
Raj and I are both products of public school, and we didn't turn out so bad…perhaps we should all have "public school envy!"
Friday, February 27, 2009
The Donald
We have just returned bronzed and fresh from a week in Palm Beach. The children had a blast swimming, surfing and meeting other children. They were very sad to have to pack up and head back north – always a sign of a good vacation.
Esmar, our incredible nanny, joined us on vacation. Without her, our vacation would not have been nearly as relaxing. Each morning Raj and I were able to workout together, and in the evenings, we could escape for dinner on our own. Esmar is a Godsend and we all adore her.
One evening, while Esmar and the children hung out in the hotel game room, Raj and I had cocktails with a friend at his very exclusive club, The Mar-a-Lago Club. It has been close to 13 years since Raj and I had last been there. At the time, Donald Trump, who purchased the estate in the mid-80's, was on his 2nd wife, Marla Maples - and the dust from their scandalous relationship had just about settled.
Mar-a-Lago, as it is appropriately named, means sea-to-lake in Latin. The estate is comprised of 20 beautifully manicured sea-to-lake acres with exceptional water views. Raj and I have been lucky enough to see the property during the day and during the evening - both times were equally stunning.
Our first visit to Mar-a-Lago was during the afternoon. We toured the estate grounds (as Marla frolicked poolside in her bikini), and we toured a few of the 126 interior rooms. The estate, which was originally built in the 1920's by the elegant Majorie Merriweather Post (at the time Mrs. E.F. Hutton), has a museum like quality to it, with every detail from doorknobs to the light fixtures meticulously appointed. To The Donald's credit, he has done a phenomenal job restoring it. My favorite room is the bar. Not because of the room's stately mahogany walls, or because of the elegant drapes and upholstery, but because of a rare portrait hanging prominently for all to enjoy while sipping a favorite libation.
During our recent visit, we enjoyed our own libation on the terrace. The stars shined brightly above and the breeze was heavenly. The lights from West Palm Beach twinkled happily in the distance across Lake Worth, and we sat next to Mr. Trump and wife No. 3. We exchanged pleasantries with The Donald, and she smiled (I keep wondering who No. 4 will be!). A spectacular evening, but for one small detail…jets roared thunderously across the sky, for what seemed like every 10 minutes, making it very difficult to hear one another speak..."Excuse me?!" For all of its splendors, Mar-a-Lago has the misfortune of being located directly beneath the main flight path of Palm Beach International Airport... How does the "jet set" stand it?
My metallic gold Jimmy Choos worked overtime aerating the grounds (a cost savings for The Donald) as we strolled along the property after cocktails. Our visit was nearing an end, as we had dinner reservations in town. However, before I could leave I had to see it again – "The Portrait." It is not often that a commoner, such as me, has the privilege of seeing such a rare piece of art once, let alone twice. The average person has a far greater chance of seeing the Mona Lisa in their lifetime; the Louvre, is open to the public for a nominal fee, as opposed to Mar-a-Lago's six-digit membership fee.
I hobble along the sprawling lawn, up the terrace staircase and into the mahogany bar – and there it was, right before my very eyes – the most outrageous, comical portrait I have ever seen…The Donald, sporting tennis whites and his signature comb-over. OMG!
Amongst chauffeurs and Bentleys, Raj and I were graciously escorted into our rented gold Kia minivan, and excitedly sped off to our next adventure – theatre at its best…dinner in Palm Beach.
Esmar, our incredible nanny, joined us on vacation. Without her, our vacation would not have been nearly as relaxing. Each morning Raj and I were able to workout together, and in the evenings, we could escape for dinner on our own. Esmar is a Godsend and we all adore her.
One evening, while Esmar and the children hung out in the hotel game room, Raj and I had cocktails with a friend at his very exclusive club, The Mar-a-Lago Club. It has been close to 13 years since Raj and I had last been there. At the time, Donald Trump, who purchased the estate in the mid-80's, was on his 2nd wife, Marla Maples - and the dust from their scandalous relationship had just about settled.
Mar-a-Lago, as it is appropriately named, means sea-to-lake in Latin. The estate is comprised of 20 beautifully manicured sea-to-lake acres with exceptional water views. Raj and I have been lucky enough to see the property during the day and during the evening - both times were equally stunning.
Our first visit to Mar-a-Lago was during the afternoon. We toured the estate grounds (as Marla frolicked poolside in her bikini), and we toured a few of the 126 interior rooms. The estate, which was originally built in the 1920's by the elegant Majorie Merriweather Post (at the time Mrs. E.F. Hutton), has a museum like quality to it, with every detail from doorknobs to the light fixtures meticulously appointed. To The Donald's credit, he has done a phenomenal job restoring it. My favorite room is the bar. Not because of the room's stately mahogany walls, or because of the elegant drapes and upholstery, but because of a rare portrait hanging prominently for all to enjoy while sipping a favorite libation.
During our recent visit, we enjoyed our own libation on the terrace. The stars shined brightly above and the breeze was heavenly. The lights from West Palm Beach twinkled happily in the distance across Lake Worth, and we sat next to Mr. Trump and wife No. 3. We exchanged pleasantries with The Donald, and she smiled (I keep wondering who No. 4 will be!). A spectacular evening, but for one small detail…jets roared thunderously across the sky, for what seemed like every 10 minutes, making it very difficult to hear one another speak..."Excuse me?!" For all of its splendors, Mar-a-Lago has the misfortune of being located directly beneath the main flight path of Palm Beach International Airport... How does the "jet set" stand it?
My metallic gold Jimmy Choos worked overtime aerating the grounds (a cost savings for The Donald) as we strolled along the property after cocktails. Our visit was nearing an end, as we had dinner reservations in town. However, before I could leave I had to see it again – "The Portrait." It is not often that a commoner, such as me, has the privilege of seeing such a rare piece of art once, let alone twice. The average person has a far greater chance of seeing the Mona Lisa in their lifetime; the Louvre, is open to the public for a nominal fee, as opposed to Mar-a-Lago's six-digit membership fee.
I hobble along the sprawling lawn, up the terrace staircase and into the mahogany bar – and there it was, right before my very eyes – the most outrageous, comical portrait I have ever seen…The Donald, sporting tennis whites and his signature comb-over. OMG!
Amongst chauffeurs and Bentleys, Raj and I were graciously escorted into our rented gold Kia minivan, and excitedly sped off to our next adventure – theatre at its best…dinner in Palm Beach.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Martyr's Day
Wow, I cannot believe the emotional responses that last week’s blog, Family, generated. Thank you all for your comments, emails, etc. I’m not surprised that many of us share the common bond of a “Mrs. Dennis” in our lives. As parents we must be our children’s advocates, and perhaps by writing letters to the “Mrs. Dennis'” of the world we can help facilitate change.
As I mentally prepared my schedule for this week, it struck me that my life has become portable. I no longer need to be home to get most of my work done. I just need to be stationary for stretches of time. My mobile phone, blackberry, and laptop allow me to essentially have a traveling office. Managing the lives of 3 children, 3 dogs, a husband, a lizard (if I don’t mention Spikey, Will will never forgive me) and of course myself, means that I'm in my car often. With a brood like this, there is the constant schlepping back and forth, and of course, there is the waiting.
I’ve gotten use to the waiting, and I have learned to utilize my time efficiently. My car has literally become a second office. It is amazing what I can accomplish from it – parked of course. Whether I am in the car, at guitar lessons, baseball practice, or wherevre, it is my electronic mobility that enables me to manage this blog.
This week I have worked from the orthodontist's waiting room, a doctors office, my car, and now, the library. Aside from my home office, the library is my favorite place to write. I like the placidity - there are no distractions, no ringing telephones, and everyone speaks in a low hushed tone.
It is late afternoon, so children of all ages are here either with a tutor, or working in "independent study groups" (a/k/a hanging with friends). I get a kick out of watching the groups of older kids. For some reason I always think of the 80's movie The Breakfast Club when I see them. The only difference is that these kids are not in detention, and they all have their own laptops and cell phones. They too have portable lives.
It is easy to tell from their [the teens] body language that they are torn between studying and having fun. They actually do a decent job at balancing both. I have no doubt that there is a lot of IM-ing going on.
Today, I have noticed that there is a bit more flirtation than usual. It is subtle, but nonetheless present. It must be the tensions of Valentine's Day. As a teen, I remember Valentine's Day being huge. Sending and receiving Valentines was so exciting, especially if they were anonymous. Valentine’s Dances were also big, as it was a dance with a theme, and the theme was LOVE.
My days of Valentine Dances are long gone; I suspect that soon enough I will be reliving those days vicariously through my children. For now though, the days leading up to Valentine’s Day are sweet in our home. The kids work diligently on their Valentine cards for their classmates, and our family "Valentine's Day Mail Box" comes out of hiding. Elizabeth made our mailbox a few years ago out of an old shoebox (Jimmy Choo of course!). She chiseled a ridged mail slot with a pen, and taped a cardboard pop-up sign on top that reads, "Love is Good." We all spend days putting in our Valentine's mail in the box. What comes out is quite hilarious!
From a romantic standpoint, I think that Valentine's Day is silly. Who needs a card to remind them that they are loved? Apparently, most of western civilization – some 200 million Valentine's Day cards are given annually (according to History.com). And, that accounts only for the store bought ones! I must confess that I am one of the 200 million. Despite my proclaiming Valentine's Day as "silly," I always buy Raj a card, and I admit that if Raj did not acknowledge Valentine's Day, my feelings would be hurt. This double standard got me to wondering, just who the heck is Saint Valentine?
As it turns out, depending on the source, there are somewhere between 11 and 14 Saint Valentines. The saints were actually early Christian martyrs named Valentine. The term martyr is described as people who sacrifice themselves to further a cause or belief. Hmm… sounds a lot like what we do. Come to think of it, the words mother and martyr sound alike - mother, martyr, mother, martyr…
Raj is a romantic. A couple of years ago he planned and cooked me a fabulous meal for Martyr's Day, I mean Valentine's Day. There were truffles and scallops, and an extraordinary bottle of wine from our Bordeaux collection. The evening was perfect. The children were sleeping soundly, and a warm crackling fire illuminated the room – a truly wonderful evening. As the evening ended, we walked hand and hand to our bedroom. Satiated from Raj's delicious meal and giddy from the wine, I climbed into bed, leaned over to kiss my husband good night, and vomited everywhere. A few moments later Raj followed suit. We still have not decided if the culprit was the scallops or the truffles. We’ve been eating out ever since.
I will be traveling with my family next week. We are heading south for a much needed break, and with the hope of sunny skies and warm sea air. I will leave my “traveling office” behind to recharge, as I plan to be dozing seaside on a chaise lounge recharging my own battery.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Czzy
My next blog will be posted on February 27.
As I mentally prepared my schedule for this week, it struck me that my life has become portable. I no longer need to be home to get most of my work done. I just need to be stationary for stretches of time. My mobile phone, blackberry, and laptop allow me to essentially have a traveling office. Managing the lives of 3 children, 3 dogs, a husband, a lizard (if I don’t mention Spikey, Will will never forgive me) and of course myself, means that I'm in my car often. With a brood like this, there is the constant schlepping back and forth, and of course, there is the waiting.
I’ve gotten use to the waiting, and I have learned to utilize my time efficiently. My car has literally become a second office. It is amazing what I can accomplish from it – parked of course. Whether I am in the car, at guitar lessons, baseball practice, or wherevre, it is my electronic mobility that enables me to manage this blog.
This week I have worked from the orthodontist's waiting room, a doctors office, my car, and now, the library. Aside from my home office, the library is my favorite place to write. I like the placidity - there are no distractions, no ringing telephones, and everyone speaks in a low hushed tone.
It is late afternoon, so children of all ages are here either with a tutor, or working in "independent study groups" (a/k/a hanging with friends). I get a kick out of watching the groups of older kids. For some reason I always think of the 80's movie The Breakfast Club when I see them. The only difference is that these kids are not in detention, and they all have their own laptops and cell phones. They too have portable lives.
It is easy to tell from their [the teens] body language that they are torn between studying and having fun. They actually do a decent job at balancing both. I have no doubt that there is a lot of IM-ing going on.
Today, I have noticed that there is a bit more flirtation than usual. It is subtle, but nonetheless present. It must be the tensions of Valentine's Day. As a teen, I remember Valentine's Day being huge. Sending and receiving Valentines was so exciting, especially if they were anonymous. Valentine’s Dances were also big, as it was a dance with a theme, and the theme was LOVE.
My days of Valentine Dances are long gone; I suspect that soon enough I will be reliving those days vicariously through my children. For now though, the days leading up to Valentine’s Day are sweet in our home. The kids work diligently on their Valentine cards for their classmates, and our family "Valentine's Day Mail Box" comes out of hiding. Elizabeth made our mailbox a few years ago out of an old shoebox (Jimmy Choo of course!). She chiseled a ridged mail slot with a pen, and taped a cardboard pop-up sign on top that reads, "Love is Good." We all spend days putting in our Valentine's mail in the box. What comes out is quite hilarious!
From a romantic standpoint, I think that Valentine's Day is silly. Who needs a card to remind them that they are loved? Apparently, most of western civilization – some 200 million Valentine's Day cards are given annually (according to History.com). And, that accounts only for the store bought ones! I must confess that I am one of the 200 million. Despite my proclaiming Valentine's Day as "silly," I always buy Raj a card, and I admit that if Raj did not acknowledge Valentine's Day, my feelings would be hurt. This double standard got me to wondering, just who the heck is Saint Valentine?
As it turns out, depending on the source, there are somewhere between 11 and 14 Saint Valentines. The saints were actually early Christian martyrs named Valentine. The term martyr is described as people who sacrifice themselves to further a cause or belief. Hmm… sounds a lot like what we do. Come to think of it, the words mother and martyr sound alike - mother, martyr, mother, martyr…
Raj is a romantic. A couple of years ago he planned and cooked me a fabulous meal for Martyr's Day, I mean Valentine's Day. There were truffles and scallops, and an extraordinary bottle of wine from our Bordeaux collection. The evening was perfect. The children were sleeping soundly, and a warm crackling fire illuminated the room – a truly wonderful evening. As the evening ended, we walked hand and hand to our bedroom. Satiated from Raj's delicious meal and giddy from the wine, I climbed into bed, leaned over to kiss my husband good night, and vomited everywhere. A few moments later Raj followed suit. We still have not decided if the culprit was the scallops or the truffles. We’ve been eating out ever since.
I will be traveling with my family next week. We are heading south for a much needed break, and with the hope of sunny skies and warm sea air. I will leave my “traveling office” behind to recharge, as I plan to be dozing seaside on a chaise lounge recharging my own battery.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Czzy
My next blog will be posted on February 27.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Family
When something is bothering me, I often use writing as an escape. Letter writing in particular is cleansing, and writing a letter on a computer takes it to a whole other level…you have the power to write what you really want to say; i.e. you #!#? … and then delete it. It is beyond cathartic. I have written things to people in letters that I would never have the audacity to say in person, and then, of course, I delete it. I think part of the appeal is that it is a bit "naughty."
I wrote such a letter this week, and I actually sent it. It was something that Will said to me that prompted me to write the letter. He said, "Mommy, Mrs. Dennis said that we were all family at WPA." WPA is the private school that my children formerly attended, and Mrs. Dennis is the head of the lower school (I have changed the school's name and the head's name because I am nice). Our children no longer attend WPA because we determined that for our "family," it was not the right environment.
What bothered me about Mrs. Dennis' comment, and this is why I wrote to her, was her use of the word "family." Family is a powerful word in a child's world - family is everything to them. It is their security blanket - where they go for love and comfort. It is also a child's safety net; it is where they can fall and be caught, and where they are allowed to learn from their mistakes. Family does not judge, they protect. It was my experience that Mrs. Dennis, and WPA, improperly and prematurely passed judgement and failed to protect one of it's "family." Clearly our definition of family is different.
As I get older, the notion of family has become more meaningful and relevant to me. As a daughter, a sister, a wife and as a mother, I have many roles in my family. Each of these roles is important to me, and over time, each of these roles has helped to shape me into the person that I am today.
My most challenging role is, and I suspect will always be, that of a mother. My instinct is to protect my children. I know that I cannot protect them from everything, but while they are still young, I have the ability to place them in an educational environment where they will feel protected and not judged, and where they can be children. I want my children to understand that making a mistake is a part of learning and a part of growing up. Some mistakes are worse than others, and some will require discipline while others will not. Either way, a child should have the comfort of knowing that they will always be loved and accepted by their "family".
Coincidently, today was Benjamin's "Family Day" at our new school. As I sat watching toothless, smiling, first graders sing and dance, I could not help but think back to my letter. There was no "we are all family" speech (Thank God, I don't think I could have handled that!). Actually, there was no speech at all, just the necessary introductions. "Family Day" was a wonderful way to celebrate each child's family, and to teach and to reinforce the true meaning of a "family." It was a brilliant afternoon.
I feel better now that I have written a letter to Mrs. Dennis. The content of my letter is not important, as it was between Mrs. Dennis and me. Perhaps, the letter will enlighten her and she too will come to know the true meaning of "family."
Have a great weekend,
Czzy
I wrote such a letter this week, and I actually sent it. It was something that Will said to me that prompted me to write the letter. He said, "Mommy, Mrs. Dennis said that we were all family at WPA." WPA is the private school that my children formerly attended, and Mrs. Dennis is the head of the lower school (I have changed the school's name and the head's name because I am nice). Our children no longer attend WPA because we determined that for our "family," it was not the right environment.
What bothered me about Mrs. Dennis' comment, and this is why I wrote to her, was her use of the word "family." Family is a powerful word in a child's world - family is everything to them. It is their security blanket - where they go for love and comfort. It is also a child's safety net; it is where they can fall and be caught, and where they are allowed to learn from their mistakes. Family does not judge, they protect. It was my experience that Mrs. Dennis, and WPA, improperly and prematurely passed judgement and failed to protect one of it's "family." Clearly our definition of family is different.
As I get older, the notion of family has become more meaningful and relevant to me. As a daughter, a sister, a wife and as a mother, I have many roles in my family. Each of these roles is important to me, and over time, each of these roles has helped to shape me into the person that I am today.
My most challenging role is, and I suspect will always be, that of a mother. My instinct is to protect my children. I know that I cannot protect them from everything, but while they are still young, I have the ability to place them in an educational environment where they will feel protected and not judged, and where they can be children. I want my children to understand that making a mistake is a part of learning and a part of growing up. Some mistakes are worse than others, and some will require discipline while others will not. Either way, a child should have the comfort of knowing that they will always be loved and accepted by their "family".
Coincidently, today was Benjamin's "Family Day" at our new school. As I sat watching toothless, smiling, first graders sing and dance, I could not help but think back to my letter. There was no "we are all family" speech (Thank God, I don't think I could have handled that!). Actually, there was no speech at all, just the necessary introductions. "Family Day" was a wonderful way to celebrate each child's family, and to teach and to reinforce the true meaning of a "family." It was a brilliant afternoon.
I feel better now that I have written a letter to Mrs. Dennis. The content of my letter is not important, as it was between Mrs. Dennis and me. Perhaps, the letter will enlighten her and she too will come to know the true meaning of "family."
Have a great weekend,
Czzy
Friday, January 30, 2009
Beware of the FAT Bug
I was reading The New York Post earlier this week and came across an article entitled "Beware of the Fat Bug." Apparently there is an infectious virus called AD-36 that can actually make your fat cells multiply resulting in weight gain. The virus is airborne and can cause other symptoms such as coughing, diarrhea, conjunctivitis and sore throats. I couldn't help but notice the placement of the article - right next to an article about a plump Jessica Simpson - “Jessica is a BIG star” it read. Coincidence, I doubt it. Perhaps Jessica caught AD-36 while "airborne" on her way to visit her QB boyfriend Tony Romo. And, maybe those 8 to 10 pounds that many of us gained between Thanksgiving and New Years was actually a result of AD-36 and had nothing to do with our gluttonous holiday eating (the virus can linger up to 3 months)!
Like many women, I have struggled with low body image issues. It’s no wonder given the way we are bombarded with silly headlines such as Jessica Simpson’s and with the amount of diet ads thrusted at us on practically every magazine page we turn to remind us of how “fat” we are. It doesn't stop there. Just this morning the home page headline on AOL was about Britney Spears shedding 20 pounds by doing 2 hours of cardio a day. Who really cares? Naturally next to it was an advertisement to lose 30 pounds. The ad actually had a pulsating belly.
With the exception of the "freshman 20," which for me actually happened during my senior year in high school (too much beer and nachos), I have always been fit. My motto is "everything in moderation." There is no need to starve ourselves or to work out for 2 hours a day. The best any of us can do is to eat a healthful diet and exercise regularly.
We [women] shouldn't feel badly about ourselves if our bodies do not fit the Hollywood standard. I hate to keep bring up Jessica Simpson, frankly I have no idea how or why she became a "star", but that's besides the point. Why can't she add a few pounds, she is human after all. Maybe her present weight is a true representation of her body size. Here's a novel idea, maybe she actually feels good about herself. Maybe she likes how she looks - one could surmise by her choice of clothing that she is a confident woman.
From magazines ads to television ads (thankfully NBC pulled PETA's Super Bowl ad) we are assaulted with superficial images of the ideal woman. Personally, I find it offensive that teenagers are modeling the clothes marketed to my demographic. There is no such thing as being perfect but there is such a thing as being healthy and being healthy comes in all shapes and sizes.
Czzy
Like many women, I have struggled with low body image issues. It’s no wonder given the way we are bombarded with silly headlines such as Jessica Simpson’s and with the amount of diet ads thrusted at us on practically every magazine page we turn to remind us of how “fat” we are. It doesn't stop there. Just this morning the home page headline on AOL was about Britney Spears shedding 20 pounds by doing 2 hours of cardio a day. Who really cares? Naturally next to it was an advertisement to lose 30 pounds. The ad actually had a pulsating belly.
With the exception of the "freshman 20," which for me actually happened during my senior year in high school (too much beer and nachos), I have always been fit. My motto is "everything in moderation." There is no need to starve ourselves or to work out for 2 hours a day. The best any of us can do is to eat a healthful diet and exercise regularly.
We [women] shouldn't feel badly about ourselves if our bodies do not fit the Hollywood standard. I hate to keep bring up Jessica Simpson, frankly I have no idea how or why she became a "star", but that's besides the point. Why can't she add a few pounds, she is human after all. Maybe her present weight is a true representation of her body size. Here's a novel idea, maybe she actually feels good about herself. Maybe she likes how she looks - one could surmise by her choice of clothing that she is a confident woman.
From magazines ads to television ads (thankfully NBC pulled PETA's Super Bowl ad) we are assaulted with superficial images of the ideal woman. Personally, I find it offensive that teenagers are modeling the clothes marketed to my demographic. There is no such thing as being perfect but there is such a thing as being healthy and being healthy comes in all shapes and sizes.
Czzy
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Shiny Bubble
I thought that it was time to introduce my family (pseudonyms of course). My husband Raj is the greatest guy. I always say that I must have done something great in my former life to deserve him. William, my oldest son is 11 years old and quite the tween. He's really into playing the guitar and has sophisticated taste in music. When he grows up he wants to play for the Yankees and be a rock star - good luck with that Will! My daughter Elizabeth is a budding tween and is turning 9 early next week. She is the family artist and a huge animal lover - hence our 3 dogs, Chloe, Zeek, and Zoey. Elizabeth can't decide if she wants to be an artist, an actress, or work in a pet store. Benjamin, my baby, is 6. He's the family comedian and a real charmer. His favorite sport is soccer and when he grows up he wants to be a "ventor" (inventor) - he actually has some very clever ideas.
I had a great meal last night in NYC at Sfoglia. A recently divorced and aging pop-star was there with her new Brazilian boy toy and groupies. She gave Raj a wave and a smile which was a bit disappointing considering that they are business colleagues. Just last week the pop-star and Raj were having lunch, not together, but at the same restaurant. She came from behind and planted a huge kiss on his cheek and made a big deal about how great it was to see him, blah,blah, blah. Last night this pop-star was clearly on a mission. She commanded the table of her younger Brazilian groupies much like an older sibling from your father's first marriage would do (they were from his 3rd or 4th, you get the picture). She needed their 20 something year-old approval of her 50 year-old self. No doubt she was preaching, something I recall her asking her papa not to do in the 80's.
We went skiing over MLK weekend in Woodstock, Vermont. We stayed at the Woodstock Inn where we meet up for dinner with some friends who have homes in the area. The kids were all rambunctious from sitting in the car for four hours and, they were beyond excited to be in VT together with their friends. There were 8 kids in all and aside from them getting yelled at a few times from the guests in the room next door - you can imagine 8 children literally bouncing off the walls and on the beds in a small hotel room - all went well. The adults were naturally enjoying a night cap down the hall.
The last time I went skiing I conceived William - that was 12 years ago. I was never big on skiing buy I did enjoy our once a year trip out west and a trip to Mount blanc. I'm what you would call a cautious skier. I don't like to fall, and heights freak me out a bit. I have also had a few "incidents" with the lifts that were embarrassing at best. I once fell off of a t-bar lift in Italy and rather then letting go I hung on for dear life just so I wouldn't have to do it all over again. Fortunately, Raj was behind me and caught my run-away ski. That was the same trip that we met a "doctor" by the fire in the ski lodge. Let's just say that the "aspirin" he gave me worked. It took away all my aches and pains and I was out skiing again the next day, after taking another "aspirin" of course. I don't buy the "doctor" line any more.... thankfully, we didn't need a "doctor" on our Vermont trip - just a little acetaminophen for the morning after headaches that coincidentally all of the adults suffered from.
We all had a blast skiing. Benjamin was in true form barreling straight down the mountain shouting "yeah baby," and Will and Elizabeth valiantly kept up with their more experienced friends. We returned home with only a few minor bruises and with all 3 children declaring their love of VT and their need of more cold vacations.
Will had his 5th grade D.A.R.E. (Drugs and Alcohol Resistance Education) graduation ceremony this week. Our family recently moved from the private school sector to public school and I have to say that I continue to be blown away by the school. I honestly had no idea what to expect from the public school. I have read and heard what a great school system our community has but, I still remained skeptical. Admittedly, I am guilty of getting caught up in the elitism of private school. It was like being inside a perfect shiny bubble separated from those who are not part of the club. The school campus is breathtakingly beautiful, and it should be considering the time they spend on fundraising. Our children's' new school may not be beautiful on the outside, but it is incredibly beautiful on the inside. The administration and faculty are genuine. They celebrate a child's strengths and encourage them to strengthen their weaknesses. I look into my children's' eyes and I see a change. They have been liberated - they no longer have to conform to a school's unrealistic ideals. They can be themselves, they can venture outside of "the box" without being ridiculed - they can actually feel good about it. Greatness comes to those who are willing to be different, to those who take risks and explore. Our shiny bubble popped - and not a moment to soon.
I can't sign off today without mentioning our new president, President Obama. His inaugural speech was beautifully written and humbly delivered. President Obama has a very tall charge before him and I am hopeful that we will see better days.
Have a great weekend!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Post Holiday
I made it through the first week back to school after the holidays, but not without a few glitches... We had 2 stomach bugs - one of which included projectile vomiting and diarrhea, my precor exercise machine broke down, and my oldest son had a very impressive bloody nose that made a Hansel and Gretel like trail through the house. Joy! Not exactly the calm, productive week that I had hoped for.
In spite of the fact that my precor is not working, I did manage to exercise. I did my usual running, and I got back to playing tennis after a two week hiatus. I had a fun doubles match with KB, HO, and DM. After about 10 minutes of criticizing ourselves for our holiday debauchery (which, by the way, I thoroughly enjoyed - the debauchery not the criticism!) we had a great game. I'm an okay tennis player. I play for the social aspect more than anything else. Being a stay-at-home mom can at times be lonely, so I try to make an effort to get out of the house for some "adult" conversation. Tennis, for me, is a great away to stay in touch with friends. My tennis goal, if I had to state one, is to be good enough to accept an invitation to play tennis without totally humiliating myself -and, I think I'm almost there. I'm a USTA member but, I haven't acquired enough self confidence yet to play competitively. I fear that I will have an "off day" or an "off shot" and disappoint my partner... some of these women are just so competitive that it is scary. I'm just too nice to compete (a character flaw that I must work on?). Regardless, it was a pleasure playing with a nice group of women. I was doubles partners with HO. She is a complete riot. I had one of my "off shots" and apologized to her. She responded by saying "Please, I'll accept a bottle of wine, I'll accept an invitation to tennis and lunch but, I will not accept an apology." Hallelujah! You go HO!! (ha ha)
On to the kids...one of our stomach bugs required a visit to the pediatrician. My 6 year-old, who has been sick off and on for the last few weeks, went to the nurse's office the other day because apparently his cousin's shoe lace accidentally hit him in the eye during recess (you gotta love it!.) While explaining the shoe lace incident to the nurse, he projectile vomited. It was described by the nurse as a "running faucet." Because he had been having recurrent viruses and because of the intensity in which he vomited, I took him to the doctors. Naturally, by the time we had our appointment my son was feeling much better. He was quite chatty, so chatty that the doctor asked him to stop interrupting (in her defense it was the end of the day and, he was quite irritating.) Fortunately, by the end of the appointment, my son redeemed himself. The doctor made a reference to my son's hiney, and my sweet little boy said "I don't have a hiney, I have a penis." What a hoot! It was said with such conviction and with complete innocence. At the end of a long tiring day, there is nothing better than these precious moments to remind me of just how lucky I am to have children in my life.
In spite of the fact that my precor is not working, I did manage to exercise. I did my usual running, and I got back to playing tennis after a two week hiatus. I had a fun doubles match with KB, HO, and DM. After about 10 minutes of criticizing ourselves for our holiday debauchery (which, by the way, I thoroughly enjoyed - the debauchery not the criticism!) we had a great game. I'm an okay tennis player. I play for the social aspect more than anything else. Being a stay-at-home mom can at times be lonely, so I try to make an effort to get out of the house for some "adult" conversation. Tennis, for me, is a great away to stay in touch with friends. My tennis goal, if I had to state one, is to be good enough to accept an invitation to play tennis without totally humiliating myself -and, I think I'm almost there. I'm a USTA member but, I haven't acquired enough self confidence yet to play competitively. I fear that I will have an "off day" or an "off shot" and disappoint my partner... some of these women are just so competitive that it is scary. I'm just too nice to compete (a character flaw that I must work on?). Regardless, it was a pleasure playing with a nice group of women. I was doubles partners with HO. She is a complete riot. I had one of my "off shots" and apologized to her. She responded by saying "Please, I'll accept a bottle of wine, I'll accept an invitation to tennis and lunch but, I will not accept an apology." Hallelujah! You go HO!! (ha ha)
On to the kids...one of our stomach bugs required a visit to the pediatrician. My 6 year-old, who has been sick off and on for the last few weeks, went to the nurse's office the other day because apparently his cousin's shoe lace accidentally hit him in the eye during recess (you gotta love it!.) While explaining the shoe lace incident to the nurse, he projectile vomited. It was described by the nurse as a "running faucet." Because he had been having recurrent viruses and because of the intensity in which he vomited, I took him to the doctors. Naturally, by the time we had our appointment my son was feeling much better. He was quite chatty, so chatty that the doctor asked him to stop interrupting (in her defense it was the end of the day and, he was quite irritating.) Fortunately, by the end of the appointment, my son redeemed himself. The doctor made a reference to my son's hiney, and my sweet little boy said "I don't have a hiney, I have a penis." What a hoot! It was said with such conviction and with complete innocence. At the end of a long tiring day, there is nothing better than these precious moments to remind me of just how lucky I am to have children in my life.
I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I didn't have children. I know that I would travel more, I'd be current for the Oscars, I'd go to the theatre more often, I have no doubt that there would be a lot less bathroom talk around the house, of course I would worry less and , I would probably remember to look in the mirror before leaving the house (sounds like retirement!). There is a loss of innocence that comes with having children (and certainly with losing one). Your whole world changes. Your priorities are no longer your own, which I think is a good thing and you become completely responsible for another human beings existence - an awesome responsibility that somehow we all manage to handle. For me, life with children became very regimented. Everything has a time assigned to it. I could no longer do as I pleased - no spontaneous movies, no late night walks in the city. I actually can't even remember what it was like to have that kind of freedom that I once had, it seems like another lifetime... in a way I guess it was. Last night I came across an old photograph of me and my husband. It was taken at the end of 1989, almost 20 years-ago. We looked so young and, yes, so innocent. I don't mind the loss of innocence as I am much wiser for it and, I even don't mind the worry lines that are beginning to show - I have earned everyone of them! It wasn't easy for me to have my 3 children. I have been pregnant 6 times, two ended in miscarriages, one in a neonatal death and, then thankfully 3 wonderful healthy babies. I wouldn't change a thing, even if it meant that I would be current on Oscar night. That is what retirement is for.
Anyway, please stay tuned as I work through the glitches of writing a blog. And, please comment if you can. For those of you who have had difficulties getting access to my blog or posting comments, hang in there as I am trying to figure out what the problem is.
Have a great week!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Today is my first posting. I am starting this blog as my New Year's resolution. Normally I don't make a New Year's resolution. I've always believed that if you need to make a change or to improve yourself, there is no time like the present - you don't need a new year to change. However, this year, I've made an exception.
When people ask me what I do I often hear myself saying "I'm a pseudo writer." I actually am a writer - I just don't get paid, at least not in recent years. As a stay-at-home mom I have found it to be nearly impossible to find time to sit down and write. And, if I do have the time I inevitably have a block. For whatever reason, It seems as though my creative juices flow best at night as I lie awake in bed, which I have to admit is not the most convenient of times. I promise myself each night that I will remember to write down all of my wonderful story ideas the second I awake. Unfortunately, the second I awake all that I can think about is that first cup of delicious hot coffee waiting to be drunk and the 3 million things I have on my "To Do" list for the day. So, all of those wonderful story ideas have been long forgotten. Pathetic isn't it?
This blog, I promise, wont be your stereo-typical housewife whining and complaining about her privileged life, but rather about expressing my ideas and feelings, and sharing experiences that many of you may relate to. As a stay-at-home mom I have paid my dues...all of my children go to school full-time - a real feat in the world of motherhood. I have as they say, seen the light!! This is why I have made an exception to having a New Year's resolution for 2009. I want to write and it is through this blog that I will express my thoughts.
A bit about me. I've given birth to four beautiful children - two girls and two boys, I have a great husband, 3 dogs, and a bearded dragon (not my idea). The reason I say "given birth to" is because my first child, a precious baby girl died shortly after birth. It's a long and sad story, one that I don't regret and that I will share in a future blog. My children are 11, almost 9, and 6 years-old. Our dogs, Chloe, Zeek and Zoey, are the children I would have like to have had, if I had not had my tubes tied (I get pregnant way to easily).
I am thrilled to begin writing 3 Kids and a Dog...Plus 2, it has been a long time coming. I have lots to say, and I hope that you will return again and again to read my postings.
Happy New Year,
Czzy
When people ask me what I do I often hear myself saying "I'm a pseudo writer." I actually am a writer - I just don't get paid, at least not in recent years. As a stay-at-home mom I have found it to be nearly impossible to find time to sit down and write. And, if I do have the time I inevitably have a block. For whatever reason, It seems as though my creative juices flow best at night as I lie awake in bed, which I have to admit is not the most convenient of times. I promise myself each night that I will remember to write down all of my wonderful story ideas the second I awake. Unfortunately, the second I awake all that I can think about is that first cup of delicious hot coffee waiting to be drunk and the 3 million things I have on my "To Do" list for the day. So, all of those wonderful story ideas have been long forgotten. Pathetic isn't it?
This blog, I promise, wont be your stereo-typical housewife whining and complaining about her privileged life, but rather about expressing my ideas and feelings, and sharing experiences that many of you may relate to. As a stay-at-home mom I have paid my dues...all of my children go to school full-time - a real feat in the world of motherhood. I have as they say, seen the light!! This is why I have made an exception to having a New Year's resolution for 2009. I want to write and it is through this blog that I will express my thoughts.
A bit about me. I've given birth to four beautiful children - two girls and two boys, I have a great husband, 3 dogs, and a bearded dragon (not my idea). The reason I say "given birth to" is because my first child, a precious baby girl died shortly after birth. It's a long and sad story, one that I don't regret and that I will share in a future blog. My children are 11, almost 9, and 6 years-old. Our dogs, Chloe, Zeek and Zoey, are the children I would have like to have had, if I had not had my tubes tied (I get pregnant way to easily).
I am thrilled to begin writing 3 Kids and a Dog...Plus 2, it has been a long time coming. I have lots to say, and I hope that you will return again and again to read my postings.
Happy New Year,
Czzy
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