Aside from Father’s Day and our children’s birthdays, what better way to celebrate a day than Mother’s Day? This year, Mother’s Day falls on Benjamin’s 7th birthday. I am thrilled to share this day with him. Seven years ago, my baby boy was born two days before Mother’s Day. Will and Elizabeth were 4 and 2 respectively.
Benjamin was as unpredictable in utero as he is out. From conception Benjamin was the cause of quite a few stressful situations. For starters, as with all of my children, I had a CVS (chorionic villus sampling). A CVS is a genetic test that is done between ten and twelve weeks of pregnancy, usually for high risk pregnancies to determine if the fetus is genetically healthy. Because of the loss of our first child, and because of the high risk of our subsequent children having the same genetic disease, we chose to have a CVS. Unfortunately with Benjamin, the lab made a mistake, so I had an amniocentitesis as well. After many grueling months (25 weeks gestation) we finally received the great news that our baby boy was healthy. After a few wonderful weeks of elation we soon found out that not only did I have placenta previa, but Benjamin was transverse.
At 30 weeks pregnant Raj, and I went to a private showing of Anything Goes with Patty Lupone. It was a wonderful evening - a small venue and the cast was extraordinary. Patty belted out an encore and Benjamin went crazy. He was kicking and flipping in ways that I had never felt before. By the end of the evening, I ended up in the hospital. The next six weeks were spent in and out of the hospital, and when I wasn’t in the hospital I was on bed rest. With much relief, Benjamin was delivered by a scheduled cesarean section at 36 weeks.
At conception Raj and I knew that this baby would either be our last pregnancy, or more optimistically, our last child. Thankfully it was the latter, and Benjamin was born two days after Mother’s Day. I was so relieved, so happy, and so proud to be spending Mother’s Day in the hospital with my new beautiful son. He was so little and so cute. I was lucky – I had the "perfect nuclear unit."
Raj brought the kids to the hospital to see their new baby brother again, and to celebrate Mother’s Day. The children came with cards and flowers. Will and Elizabeth eagerly climbed onto the hospital bed with me and Benjamin – such a sweet moment in a mother’s life. Unfortunately, the “moment” was over before you could say “Happy Mother’s Day.” Will immediately discovered the remote control buttons to the hospital bed. Up and down went my back, and in and out went my legs at high speed – not exactly part of my perfect Mother’s Day fantasy. If you have ever had a c-section, you know what I am talking about – ouch!
While Will was moving my body in various positions, my sweet little Elizabeth also discovered a button. At first it was very sweet – “They are sooo cute,” the nurses said. But by the fifth or sixth call to the nurses station, there was nothing cute about it. I think that it would be fair to say that Will and Elizabeth were “pushing my buttons” that day. They were making me pay for not being at home, and for not giving them all of the attention that they were accustomed to. Needless to say, Mother’s Day with my “perfect nuclear unit” was a far cry from perfect. In fact it was a disaster ending, in a total meltdown, with three of us crying (one being me) and Raj carrying Will and Elizabeth in either arm out of the hospital like a sack of potatoes.
I look forward to Mother’s Day - my day, each year. Thankfully we have passed (and survived) the “meltdown phase” only to move on to other stages and phases. I am dreaming of my morning cup of coffee in bed with my three precious children, my three dogs, and Raj, all happily piled in together... my "perfect nuclear unit."
Happy Mother’s Day!
